Jeffrey, what an introduction to a different world. Who would expect physical violence in such an idyllic setting? Sadly, the “patch them up and send them on their way” is common practice here as well. I spread pneumonia to my entire family and half of my office co-workers due to a missed diagnosis on the part of a lazy doctor. My guess is that some of the violence was driven by class envy and intolerance of perceived “elites.” Big problem here as well. So glad you had a good experience overall, that you survived, and went on to great success doing what you love. Thank you for these personal stories from your youth. I am enjoying them immensely.
Thank you, Mary. I'm grateful for your kind words which mean so much, coming from you!
I'm sure you're right: there's a class element to the “town vs gown” divide in our university cities. I also think that the kind of recreational fighting, usually fuelled by alcohol, that can erupt at weekends in our towns and cities suggests in addition something altgether more atavistic also at play.
I grew up in rural America in a setting similar to yours. I worked overseas 20 years, and never had any fears about walking unfamiliar streets alone. The only incident I ever had was somewhere in the vicinity of Oxford Street in London, when I was on a corner waiting for the light to change. A young man with a plastic bag in his hand came up beside me, glanced around, and swung the bag at my head. Though there was something heavy in the bag it was easily deflected. I shouted “What’s wrong with you” and squared off like I knew what I was doing (I didn’t). We glared at one anther, the light changed, he went one way and I another. I followed him (on the opposite side of the street) trying to figure out what, if anything, to do next while he continued jauntily walking along. Eventually he disappeared into a crowd.
Not sure why I’m commenting, other than to say I can relate. I do enjoy your Substack posts.
Thank you, Chuck. I wonder if your would-be attacker was after your possessions, or just "out for a laugh" (and off his head)? I've managed to avoid mishap in London. And now that I ive in Tokyo, I've probably become less vigilant that I was for a long time after this incident.
Oh Jeffrey I understand this so well. I felt so sorry for you on a multitude of different levels, especially being "just in from the Shire." The super-faux Chinese food description was hilarious! But all of this was so well written, I was right there with you frame by frame.
Wonderfully told story, Jeffrey. The last paragraph is a perfect summation of your experience and its foretelling. Street smarts alert us to dangers, and are what keep us alive. It is a shame you were the one of your group that took it on the chin," so to speak, but it was a fortuitous lesson, I think, and one you can always rely on.
I have been to Oxford several times while traveling in England and enjoyed it every time. It is beautiful.
Thank you, Maureen. I never had any problems when I actually lived in Oxford. But I think you're right, it was fortuitous in a sense. I've lived in one or two quite unsafe cities over the years and this incident probably helped me to tune in my sense of danger, even to those very different settings.
I meant to mention that your selection of the Roy Lichtenstein artwork is perfect. I have an original poster by him from one of his exhibitions at the Guggenheim.
"However, for many years afterwards (and even now very occasionally), opening my mouth too wide too suddenly could cause me to feel a twinge in a tendon in my jaw."
Those little scars and injuries we heal from yet that leave their mark and never quite disappear. Part of what makes a life by the end, like this memory, and the jaw that wouldn't let you forget it even if you could.
Thank you, Jay. "Part of what makes a life by the end" – so well put. Yes, our bodies carry our histories. And your brief reflection has already sent me down an interesting rabbit hole about how we experience time...
I have lived in very some rough areas in cities, but never witnessed that kind of looking-for-a-fight violence. Then again, as a lone woman, I've always been very careful how I move through cities. I often think that the UK seems like a much more violent place than Canada and I wonder if that is because the extreme difference in population density, but I also know that in rural Canada there is unseen and thus unreported violence.
Really well told story, Jeffrey. I love the idea that the first thing you learnt in the ‘big smoke’ was on the street and not in the University.
Your story was also very relatable, in that I was also suckerpunched once, seemingly out of nowhere for no reason. And like you, the pain wasn’t all that bad at first, but the shock of it all certainly rattled me. :)
Thank you, Michael. I really appreciate your comments. Sorry to hear that you went through something similar! These kinds of thing can stay with us, can't they?
What an eventful trip! Sorry that you went through that and still experience some discomfort in your jaw.
My husband and I occasionally discuss our different perspectives on street smarts (from a gendered one, but also from that I grew up in the UK and he grew up in the US). My husband has told me of similar stories where a random and often drunk person has threatened him just while casually walking about when he lived in New York. That said, he also says that NY was also one of the safest places too...
Thank you, Sarah! The threat of random violence is in some way more unnerving, but ultimately less worrying than being the victim of violent theft, for example.
While during my elementary and middle school years I've always been rather non-violent and even a little bit of a wimp, we had gang wars, stone-throwing battles, and the dreadful "nettling torture." Good times... were not.
Impressed that you applied to Oxford after that, Jeffrey! I had a similar experience when I was an undergrad. An aggressive local guy 'asked' me for a cigarette, I told him to buy his own, and then he punched me so hard that it felt like I'd run into a brick wall. My black eye was very impressive though. Ironically, people crossed the street when they saw me coming?! The morning after that altercation, I asked a GP whether I might have brain damage. He got me to run through how much I'd drunk the night before, and calmly replied: "No, you've got a hangover". 😆
What a wonderful story, if not wonderful for your jaw. The first time we learn the reality of violence can be very jarring. What an important lesson to have learnt.
This is wonderfully told. I’m glad the experience didn’t dissuade you from big cities…. Listening to Teenage Wildlife now because I seem to have missed it!
A rough introduction to another way of life, indeed. Believe it or not, fights in Hawaii are common. I grew up watching fights, getting into fights, and avoiding them, too. Perhaps it has to do with cultures clashing or the 'lack of space'. I've heard interesting theories regarding this from Malcolm Gladwell. He calls it “culture of honor” in his book "Outliers: The Story of Success" ~ but as far as those punks on the streets of London, they were simply assholes.
Jeffrey, what an introduction to a different world. Who would expect physical violence in such an idyllic setting? Sadly, the “patch them up and send them on their way” is common practice here as well. I spread pneumonia to my entire family and half of my office co-workers due to a missed diagnosis on the part of a lazy doctor. My guess is that some of the violence was driven by class envy and intolerance of perceived “elites.” Big problem here as well. So glad you had a good experience overall, that you survived, and went on to great success doing what you love. Thank you for these personal stories from your youth. I am enjoying them immensely.
Thank you, Mary. I'm grateful for your kind words which mean so much, coming from you!
I'm sure you're right: there's a class element to the “town vs gown” divide in our university cities. I also think that the kind of recreational fighting, usually fuelled by alcohol, that can erupt at weekends in our towns and cities suggests in addition something altgether more atavistic also at play.
I grew up in rural America in a setting similar to yours. I worked overseas 20 years, and never had any fears about walking unfamiliar streets alone. The only incident I ever had was somewhere in the vicinity of Oxford Street in London, when I was on a corner waiting for the light to change. A young man with a plastic bag in his hand came up beside me, glanced around, and swung the bag at my head. Though there was something heavy in the bag it was easily deflected. I shouted “What’s wrong with you” and squared off like I knew what I was doing (I didn’t). We glared at one anther, the light changed, he went one way and I another. I followed him (on the opposite side of the street) trying to figure out what, if anything, to do next while he continued jauntily walking along. Eventually he disappeared into a crowd.
Not sure why I’m commenting, other than to say I can relate. I do enjoy your Substack posts.
Thank you, Chuck. I wonder if your would-be attacker was after your possessions, or just "out for a laugh" (and off his head)? I've managed to avoid mishap in London. And now that I ive in Tokyo, I've probably become less vigilant that I was for a long time after this incident.
Oh Jeffrey I understand this so well. I felt so sorry for you on a multitude of different levels, especially being "just in from the Shire." The super-faux Chinese food description was hilarious! But all of this was so well written, I was right there with you frame by frame.
Thank you, Sue. The transition from the country to the big city isn't an easy one, is it?
Wonderfully told story, Jeffrey. The last paragraph is a perfect summation of your experience and its foretelling. Street smarts alert us to dangers, and are what keep us alive. It is a shame you were the one of your group that took it on the chin," so to speak, but it was a fortuitous lesson, I think, and one you can always rely on.
I have been to Oxford several times while traveling in England and enjoyed it every time. It is beautiful.
Thank you, Maureen. I never had any problems when I actually lived in Oxford. But I think you're right, it was fortuitous in a sense. I've lived in one or two quite unsafe cities over the years and this incident probably helped me to tune in my sense of danger, even to those very different settings.
I meant to mention that your selection of the Roy Lichtenstein artwork is perfect. I have an original poster by him from one of his exhibitions at the Guggenheim.
Good grief!
"However, for many years afterwards (and even now very occasionally), opening my mouth too wide too suddenly could cause me to feel a twinge in a tendon in my jaw."
Those little scars and injuries we heal from yet that leave their mark and never quite disappear. Part of what makes a life by the end, like this memory, and the jaw that wouldn't let you forget it even if you could.
Thank you, Jay. "Part of what makes a life by the end" – so well put. Yes, our bodies carry our histories. And your brief reflection has already sent me down an interesting rabbit hole about how we experience time...
I'm thinking, as I don't think have before. that provoking people down rabbit holes is not a bad, if not always a welcome, effect to have on them. Hm.
In this case, a most welcome effect!
I have lived in very some rough areas in cities, but never witnessed that kind of looking-for-a-fight violence. Then again, as a lone woman, I've always been very careful how I move through cities. I often think that the UK seems like a much more violent place than Canada and I wonder if that is because the extreme difference in population density, but I also know that in rural Canada there is unseen and thus unreported violence.
Thank you, Holly. I think that's also true in the countryside in England. violence was less easy to detect.
Really well told story, Jeffrey. I love the idea that the first thing you learnt in the ‘big smoke’ was on the street and not in the University.
Your story was also very relatable, in that I was also suckerpunched once, seemingly out of nowhere for no reason. And like you, the pain wasn’t all that bad at first, but the shock of it all certainly rattled me. :)
Thank you, Michael. I really appreciate your comments. Sorry to hear that you went through something similar! These kinds of thing can stay with us, can't they?
Yes definitely. I mean, it’s not everyday that such stuff happens, so it certainly leaves an impression.
What an eventful trip! Sorry that you went through that and still experience some discomfort in your jaw.
My husband and I occasionally discuss our different perspectives on street smarts (from a gendered one, but also from that I grew up in the UK and he grew up in the US). My husband has told me of similar stories where a random and often drunk person has threatened him just while casually walking about when he lived in New York. That said, he also says that NY was also one of the safest places too...
Thank you, Sarah! The threat of random violence is in some way more unnerving, but ultimately less worrying than being the victim of violent theft, for example.
While during my elementary and middle school years I've always been rather non-violent and even a little bit of a wimp, we had gang wars, stone-throwing battles, and the dreadful "nettling torture." Good times... were not.
Impressed that you applied to Oxford after that, Jeffrey! I had a similar experience when I was an undergrad. An aggressive local guy 'asked' me for a cigarette, I told him to buy his own, and then he punched me so hard that it felt like I'd run into a brick wall. My black eye was very impressive though. Ironically, people crossed the street when they saw me coming?! The morning after that altercation, I asked a GP whether I might have brain damage. He got me to run through how much I'd drunk the night before, and calmly replied: "No, you've got a hangover". 😆
Glad that you recovered from the punch and the hangover, James! Your experience sounds scarier than mine...
Random acts of violence are really shocking. Maybe it's because they're so difficult to empathise with? I guess there's always a backstory though.
Oh poor you! The plight of the country boy hitting the big city. Nicely told story, though.
Thank you, June. Yes, I feel like I was a real country bumpkin!
What a wonderful story, if not wonderful for your jaw. The first time we learn the reality of violence can be very jarring. What an important lesson to have learnt.
Thank you, Evelyn. Yes, an important lesson. I've managed to avoid similar incidents since then!
This is wonderfully told. I’m glad the experience didn’t dissuade you from big cities…. Listening to Teenage Wildlife now because I seem to have missed it!
Thank you, Victoria! And enjoy the song!
A rough introduction to another way of life, indeed. Believe it or not, fights in Hawaii are common. I grew up watching fights, getting into fights, and avoiding them, too. Perhaps it has to do with cultures clashing or the 'lack of space'. I've heard interesting theories regarding this from Malcolm Gladwell. He calls it “culture of honor” in his book "Outliers: The Story of Success" ~ but as far as those punks on the streets of London, they were simply assholes.
I hadn't imagined Hawaii to be a violent place! And I agree, there's no need to invoke some culture of honour for this kind of thing.
What a wild initiation to city living!
Funnily enough, it didn't put me off the place, I guess I thought it could have happened anywhere.