You can imagine, Eleanor Anstruther has been through no end of garbled iterations over the years, E Anstruther becomes Ean Struther, a mis-hear that my great aunt submitted to, publishing under Jan Struther (she wrote Mrs Miniver) instead of Joyce Anstruther. And then there's the nicknames and pet names and often I can't remember who calls me what; Ellie, Ella, Elle, Belle, Elsinore, Nora, the list goes on......
Wow! that must have been pretty bewildering. I'm lucky with just Jefe/Jeffery/Jeffrey/Geoffrey (and a few others we'll see next time). Mind you , Ean Struther sounds rather cool to me, in a Henry James kind of way.
More Jeff! Loved this piece. Mine is a family of nicknames. One brother has been Fuzz ever since he was a toddler.
I, too, have had geographical name changes. In South America, I am Holy or Holicita, which I love. My former partner’s family in Ecuador still calls me Shukita. And in the Bolivian altiplano, I went by Maria, a version of my middle name. A Colombian friend, Mariangelica, and I joke that our cabaret names are Holy Mary and Mary the Angel.
When I was a student. I took 4 Danish students home for the weekend. They heard my Dad call me "Nic" and asked why he called me that. Explaining that this was my nickname at home was challenging😄
Growing up I was always Maureen. When I moved from Pittsburgh to Florida in my late twenties and was managing a restaurant, I was still Maureen until I hired a woman from Boston who began to call me Moe. I was not a fan, but it stuck and all my customers used it affectionately. Then a couple my age moved from NYC to my community and became regulars and friends, they called me Mo-Mo, a term of endearment, they’d said. Those nicknames lasted for ten years in the restaurant and community, then I hung up my apron and moved north where I became Maureen again. Years later, when I married my husband, I wanted to keep my surname, but I wanted his name too. Sometimes Cavanaugh Berry presents challenges, especially at the airport and at the hospital and government offices because I decided not to hyphenate both surnames, instead, I left a space between. My author's name is Maureen C. Berry to confuse things further! Hah! My best friends call me Caz, but that's a story for another day! Cheers!
Hi Maureen, yes, I forgot about the Mary/Maureen connection! I was baptized Mary Maureen. My mother doubled down! 😅 and yes, word origins are fascinating. Thanks for that reminder.
This was super interesting and well written. The notion of our name shifting with location is something I had never considered before — and I like your assertion that our “names matter”.
Thank you, Michael. I am very grateful for your kind words. I am seeing from the comments here that everyone has a story to tell about their name. What's yours?
I have lots of stories about nicknames I’ve received over the years - some nice, some not so. But I’ll leave them for another time.
And having a name like Michael, I’ve realised people will kinda chop that name up how they want, for some, I’m ‘mick’ or ‘mike’ or ‘Mickey’ or ‘Mikey’ or what I actually prefer - Michael haha
"The relish came from the fact that he was, in effect, calling me by my first name - something I tried to insist on but which went against local hierarchical norms. He enjoyed punning in Spanish, and he thought it was very funny to (as he saw it) transgress and show respect at the same time."
thank you for this post and mentioning my newsletter in it! in my case, I had to get used to seeing my name written in another alphabet. And then its spelling: were it just a common "Alexandra," no one would even ask me any question. But when it is spelled with these KS letters, it immediately arouses everyone's curiosity!
Everyone else is sleeping here still, and so I finally have a quiet moment with coffee to read this. And I think More Jeff! may live with me forever. <3 I dated a series of Jeffs in my early twenties. Not on purpose, mind you. It just worked out that way. But it did help with never worrying about saying the wrong name at the wrong moment. :) I thought your story about El Jefe might have morphed into something about Cuba and Castro, but perhaps that's one of the few places you haven't gone.
Then you mentioned "JP" which was the nom de plume of a former lover of mine, and that was when it got a little strange for me, this missive. Like you have taken so many pieces of my history and encapsulated them in one place, but also weren't writing about me (obviously) at all. It might seem a strange thing to be grateful for, but I was. Grateful for strangeness, ultimately. It keeps us on our toes.
Hi Asha, thank you for this great reply and apologies for being late to thank you. I seem to have missed a number of replies on this post, which is very remiss of me.
I get what you say about the strangeness... Names of people we have been close to can be triggering... But you're right, the strangeness keeps us alert.
In the British style and forget a name as soon as I am introduced to someone. I am not proud of this. I do remember the face though, the voice, the person. Sometimes I recall the first letter of the name - “that young woman beginning with K.” I lived in Japan for some time and there I was “Emma-san” or more affectionately “Emma-chan.” That Pushkin is so evocative.
I’m obsessed with “El Jefe” and “more Jeff”! 😅 If you’ve watched The Bear, you’ll know that the character Tina is always calling the chef “Jeff” which later turns into “Jeffrey”—which feels pertinent to your story.
Thank you, Victoria! As it happens, Victor is a well-used name in my family, with at least 4 generations who have that as a first or second name (as a younger son, I didn't inherit it). Initials could be a fascinating topic for a post. Did you have any particular aspect of them in mind?
Well, I liked your authorial J.P. Mine are V.C., which also lends itself to authorship. But what makes for good initials, in general? Is there a logic to choosing or using them?
Thx! I’ve got another name piece awaiting publication with a lit journal that I’m really looking forward to sharing. Alas, I must wait for them to publish it 😅
It is astonishing to me that our first name, which is so important to our sense of self, is given to us by other people, and that people usually suit their name! Parents are always not in tune with their offspring, so you would think more people would change their names when they become adults. On the other hand if you are called X Æ A-Xii you probably will change your name.
My much younger cousins decided I needed a nickname and called me Kariatatiddle for years. They did not quite understand the concept that a nickname is supposed to be shorter than the original name. Since I am a Kathrine, which was a very popular name when I was born, I have run the gamut of different versions of my name. I do agree, they are very country specific.
Thank you for reading and your comments, Kate. Kariatatiddle is cute, isn't it! And I agree, it would be great to have a system whereby we choose our names as we grow up.
I have some friends who are Catholic, and when you are confirmed you choose a Confirmation saint as your patron/patroness. But since the choices are limited to saints, and you are a teenager, when your choices may not always work for you long term, it does not really equate to being able to change your name.
More Jeff! So cute 🥰
Right? Amazing what they come out with at that age
You can imagine, Eleanor Anstruther has been through no end of garbled iterations over the years, E Anstruther becomes Ean Struther, a mis-hear that my great aunt submitted to, publishing under Jan Struther (she wrote Mrs Miniver) instead of Joyce Anstruther. And then there's the nicknames and pet names and often I can't remember who calls me what; Ellie, Ella, Elle, Belle, Elsinore, Nora, the list goes on......
Wow! that must have been pretty bewildering. I'm lucky with just Jefe/Jeffery/Jeffrey/Geoffrey (and a few others we'll see next time). Mind you , Ean Struther sounds rather cool to me, in a Henry James kind of way.
More Jeff! Loved this piece. Mine is a family of nicknames. One brother has been Fuzz ever since he was a toddler.
I, too, have had geographical name changes. In South America, I am Holy or Holicita, which I love. My former partner’s family in Ecuador still calls me Shukita. And in the Bolivian altiplano, I went by Maria, a version of my middle name. A Colombian friend, Mariangelica, and I joke that our cabaret names are Holy Mary and Mary the Angel.
"More Jeff" - so cute, kids. If this was a fantasy tale, that would make him your evil twin, "Morjeff" and we'd be off and running. ;)
Write it! 🙂
When I was a student. I took 4 Danish students home for the weekend. They heard my Dad call me "Nic" and asked why he called me that. Explaining that this was my nickname at home was challenging😄
Nic-name? I used to work with a Nicola who preferred to be called Nic.
Jamaicans are really big on nicknames. My husband’s is Robbie. Only close friends and family call him that.
Yes, I pondered about this. Nic-name would have worked better
Growing up I was always Maureen. When I moved from Pittsburgh to Florida in my late twenties and was managing a restaurant, I was still Maureen until I hired a woman from Boston who began to call me Moe. I was not a fan, but it stuck and all my customers used it affectionately. Then a couple my age moved from NYC to my community and became regulars and friends, they called me Mo-Mo, a term of endearment, they’d said. Those nicknames lasted for ten years in the restaurant and community, then I hung up my apron and moved north where I became Maureen again. Years later, when I married my husband, I wanted to keep my surname, but I wanted his name too. Sometimes Cavanaugh Berry presents challenges, especially at the airport and at the hospital and government offices because I decided not to hyphenate both surnames, instead, I left a space between. My author's name is Maureen C. Berry to confuse things further! Hah! My best friends call me Caz, but that's a story for another day! Cheers!
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing! By the way, momo means peach in Japanese, so that name would do well here in Tokyo. 😊
They are! And thank you for sharing about your own name and the Gaelic diminutive.
Hi Maureen, yes, I forgot about the Mary/Maureen connection! I was baptized Mary Maureen. My mother doubled down! 😅 and yes, word origins are fascinating. Thanks for that reminder.
Lovely to have you both here! Is there a collective noun for Maureens, I wonder?
More Jeff FTW! Hahaha, I love that. Something only a child could come up with!
Absolutely! So literal, so cute
This was super interesting and well written. The notion of our name shifting with location is something I had never considered before — and I like your assertion that our “names matter”.
Thanks, El Jefe :)
Thank you, Michael. I am very grateful for your kind words. I am seeing from the comments here that everyone has a story to tell about their name. What's yours?
I have lots of stories about nicknames I’ve received over the years - some nice, some not so. But I’ll leave them for another time.
And having a name like Michael, I’ve realised people will kinda chop that name up how they want, for some, I’m ‘mick’ or ‘mike’ or ‘Mickey’ or ‘Mikey’ or what I actually prefer - Michael haha
The other Michaels I know prefer the longer form of the name too
Yes, the ones I know do as well. For me, it just feels like that is my name and everything else is just some watered down abbreviation.
Fun piece. I especially appreciate this:
"The relish came from the fact that he was, in effect, calling me by my first name - something I tried to insist on but which went against local hierarchical norms. He enjoyed punning in Spanish, and he thought it was very funny to (as he saw it) transgress and show respect at the same time."
There's a rich short story in that.
Indeed there was. If I was a fiction writer, I'd make the driver, who went by the name of Segundo, a character in a story.
thank you for this post and mentioning my newsletter in it! in my case, I had to get used to seeing my name written in another alphabet. And then its spelling: were it just a common "Alexandra," no one would even ask me any question. But when it is spelled with these KS letters, it immediately arouses everyone's curiosity!
Thanks, Aleksandra! It took me a while to work out what "KS" referred to, I confess!
I really enjoy your newsletter.
Everyone else is sleeping here still, and so I finally have a quiet moment with coffee to read this. And I think More Jeff! may live with me forever. <3 I dated a series of Jeffs in my early twenties. Not on purpose, mind you. It just worked out that way. But it did help with never worrying about saying the wrong name at the wrong moment. :) I thought your story about El Jefe might have morphed into something about Cuba and Castro, but perhaps that's one of the few places you haven't gone.
Then you mentioned "JP" which was the nom de plume of a former lover of mine, and that was when it got a little strange for me, this missive. Like you have taken so many pieces of my history and encapsulated them in one place, but also weren't writing about me (obviously) at all. It might seem a strange thing to be grateful for, but I was. Grateful for strangeness, ultimately. It keeps us on our toes.
Hi Asha, thank you for this great reply and apologies for being late to thank you. I seem to have missed a number of replies on this post, which is very remiss of me.
I get what you say about the strangeness... Names of people we have been close to can be triggering... But you're right, the strangeness keeps us alert.
In the British style and forget a name as soon as I am introduced to someone. I am not proud of this. I do remember the face though, the voice, the person. Sometimes I recall the first letter of the name - “that young woman beginning with K.” I lived in Japan for some time and there I was “Emma-san” or more affectionately “Emma-chan.” That Pushkin is so evocative.
I’m obsessed with “El Jefe” and “more Jeff”! 😅 If you’ve watched The Bear, you’ll know that the character Tina is always calling the chef “Jeff” which later turns into “Jeffrey”—which feels pertinent to your story.
Thanks for mentioning that Maddie. Yes, that's one of the many things I love about The Bear!
Only just saw this post, late. I found it through Kate’s mention and enjoyed it so much.
My name is quite international and easy to spell and pronounce, if a little imperialist.
More, please. How about a piece on initials?
Update: my next post will be on this topic (I will credit you with the idea, of course!)
Heh. Can’t wait! I’m working on my own post on names so I’ll credit you and Kate as Inspiration!
Excellent! I look forward to reading yours.
Thank you, Victoria! As it happens, Victor is a well-used name in my family, with at least 4 generations who have that as a first or second name (as a younger son, I didn't inherit it). Initials could be a fascinating topic for a post. Did you have any particular aspect of them in mind?
Well, I liked your authorial J.P. Mine are V.C., which also lends itself to authorship. But what makes for good initials, in general? Is there a logic to choosing or using them?
Great questions. It definitely sounds like a post!
This is such a great post!! I’m obsessed with names and have written about them several times. So many excellent lines, too!
Thank you for your kind words, Noha! I have enjoyed your posts about your "Name-esis" :)
Thx! I’ve got another name piece awaiting publication with a lit journal that I’m really looking forward to sharing. Alas, I must wait for them to publish it 😅
Congratulations!
It is astonishing to me that our first name, which is so important to our sense of self, is given to us by other people, and that people usually suit their name! Parents are always not in tune with their offspring, so you would think more people would change their names when they become adults. On the other hand if you are called X Æ A-Xii you probably will change your name.
My much younger cousins decided I needed a nickname and called me Kariatatiddle for years. They did not quite understand the concept that a nickname is supposed to be shorter than the original name. Since I am a Kathrine, which was a very popular name when I was born, I have run the gamut of different versions of my name. I do agree, they are very country specific.
Thank you for reading and your comments, Kate. Kariatatiddle is cute, isn't it! And I agree, it would be great to have a system whereby we choose our names as we grow up.
I have some friends who are Catholic, and when you are confirmed you choose a Confirmation saint as your patron/patroness. But since the choices are limited to saints, and you are a teenager, when your choices may not always work for you long term, it does not really equate to being able to change your name.
😊