As if you hadn't already drawn us in, the place then becomes haunted! It sounds like a contemplative and hardworking gap year - the best of both worlds.
I am having the same thoughts as Chloe, there must be stories buried somewhere about the house, the comings and goings... what a pity you found nothing to confirm them.
I can imagine the "the reading, in between making peace with my calloused hands and wrestling crab pots, seemed to be pointing somewhere." I have lived this on a smaller far less grand scale both here and in Ireland - minus the crab pots!
This is a wonderful post Jeffrey, honest and revealing - I loved every word!
In Australia gap years aren’t as big of a thing, (although, for me, I guess it wouldn’t really of mattered if they were because I dropped out well before the end of high school), but I resonated with your experience in that, when I left my career as a tradie behind, I had a year off (due to injury and a newfound wonderment) where I read and explorer an array of new things, all of which led me enroll in university to study philosophy. And sometimes it still spins me out that I did that, because if you had it asked me at the start of that year what I’d been doing at the end, I never would’ve said going to uni to study philosophy, but by the end of that year, no other option seemed viable haha.
A really great read Jeffrey. I enjoyed the way you tied all of this together, and I am looking forward to the next essay that will compliment it. :)
I had never really thought about telling that story, but now that you mention it—that does get the creative juices excited, so yes, maybe it will be a future post… thanks for the idea Jeffrey! :)
In retrospect, I should have taken a gap year to get my head on "straight" but living at my family's home would have been disadvantageous for the same reason. ;)
Teenagers are often thrown into the complexities of university life -and the adult world of autonomy- so freely. Very much like you, I couldn't wait to leave school and start a new chapter, in which I'd be able to indulge in everything I liked... The truth is, though, that I was really too young. I hadn't properly explored any passions. Life sometimes brings moments of seemingly sudden enlightenment, when something tangible and observable, an experience we go through, or a totemic presence -a house in ruins, in slow 'recovery'-, for instance, becomes a living metaphor of your own life. Your essay made me think of this: yes, the literary device is there, and it's beautiful, Jeff, but the lived-in metaphor is also there. 'My life is taking a new shape'. 'Beautiful words are rearranging things inside me, working on the corners of my mind', the way you worked on the walls of that mansion. Lovely.
Thank you, Viktor. I think for a time we thought young people would magically and almost instantly convert into “adults”. Perhaps we needed to believe that. But, as you suggest, it’s a much longer process.
Ah, Eliot and those lines from "East Coker" and all that you write here, revealing, vulnerable and oh so eloquent on the makings of a literary traveler ...
Thank you, Mary. I know you are a fan of the Four Quartets, which have been with me since I was a teenager. I sometimes think of you when I re-read them!
I so enjoyed this, Jeffrey. It reminded me of my own bizarre journey from American expat life in the Middle East, to completing my GCSEs and A-levels at a UK boarding school, and then attending college all the way out in California. We did, indeed, just "leave."😂
I have some experience reading college applications for a local university. One pattern that held strong was the striking maturity evident in applicants who had taken a gap year. It didn't matter what they had done with the time; they just seemed to have a better grasp, and perhaps investment, on why they wanted that college degree.
My oldest is 17 and in the throes of the college search, and generally considering "what comes next," including the possibility of a gap year. Every kid is different, but there's no denying these are very formative years, a time of great transition. As my brother so wisely likes to say: "The gap year comes, whether you take it or not."
Renovation is a wonderful way to fill in gap years, or even gap months. I restored badly treated and neglected antique furniture in the gaps between my school and employment. Now, every summer it seems I find myself working on a project, either building something new or restoring something old.
Your 'coming of age' reflections in this essay demonstrate the value of practical work and reading. How both shape a person, and show us where we need to go next. Thanks for sharing Jeffrey.
Jeffrey! Surely there’s a whole series (or a book or BBC spin-off) just waiting for more tales of the huanted Lilly Langtry mansion?! I’m dying to know more…
I was recently in a conversation with a few people, including my oldest son who is in his 20s, and we were talking about how the physicality of our lives shapes us as we grow and mature. How wonderful it is to read this since it dovetails so nicely with how I see the young people in my life— who are on the cusp of change.
Funny how our lives can take sudden detours or head in previously unimagined and unimaginable directions. Myself, I was planning to go West and ended up flying East.
A wonderful essay, Jeffrey --I think your Law essay was one of the first I read. Stepping back with you elegantly musing on this earlier time was a treat. You have a knack for taking me back with you, rather than just telling the tale. I always enjoy the journey.
I forgot to mention the “shipping forecast” map! To fall asleep, I let an App called ‘Calm’ tell me a story. One of my favorites is a reading of the shipping forecast by Peter Jefferson who read it on the BBC for 25 years. I have always been puzzled by the odd names, the map explains all!! If I weren’t trying to fall asleep, I could follow right around your dear island.
Thank you, Leslie. The shipping forecast used to be broadcast around midnight as well as in the afternoon, and while I was at university, I would sometimes fall asleep to its soothing sounds (soothing for those safely on shore). The names have a poetry to them that the Heaney poem brings out so well: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48395/glanmore-sonnets
A beautifully textured meditation on becoming your true self instead of the counterfeit one that had been waving its hand in the air. With the reverberating contrast drawn between the life of the hands and the life of the imagination, you created a frame for the essay. After reading your work for more than a year, I appreciated this vivid portrait of your young self.
As if you hadn't already drawn us in, the place then becomes haunted! It sounds like a contemplative and hardworking gap year - the best of both worlds.
Thank you, Lani. It was certainly a formative time for me.
I am having the same thoughts as Chloe, there must be stories buried somewhere about the house, the comings and goings... what a pity you found nothing to confirm them.
I can imagine the "the reading, in between making peace with my calloused hands and wrestling crab pots, seemed to be pointing somewhere." I have lived this on a smaller far less grand scale both here and in Ireland - minus the crab pots!
This is a wonderful post Jeffrey, honest and revealing - I loved every word!
Thank you, Susie! Your words mean a lot to me.
In Australia gap years aren’t as big of a thing, (although, for me, I guess it wouldn’t really of mattered if they were because I dropped out well before the end of high school), but I resonated with your experience in that, when I left my career as a tradie behind, I had a year off (due to injury and a newfound wonderment) where I read and explorer an array of new things, all of which led me enroll in university to study philosophy. And sometimes it still spins me out that I did that, because if you had it asked me at the start of that year what I’d been doing at the end, I never would’ve said going to uni to study philosophy, but by the end of that year, no other option seemed viable haha.
A really great read Jeffrey. I enjoyed the way you tied all of this together, and I am looking forward to the next essay that will compliment it. :)
Thank you for sharing that, Michael. I'd like to read more about how philosophy became the obvious or only choice for you. A future post, perhaps?
I had never really thought about telling that story, but now that you mention it—that does get the creative juices excited, so yes, maybe it will be a future post… thanks for the idea Jeffrey! :)
In retrospect, I should have taken a gap year to get my head on "straight" but living at my family's home would have been disadvantageous for the same reason. ;)
It certainly doesn't work for everyone. I spent the last few months away in London, a tale for another day.
Teenagers are often thrown into the complexities of university life -and the adult world of autonomy- so freely. Very much like you, I couldn't wait to leave school and start a new chapter, in which I'd be able to indulge in everything I liked... The truth is, though, that I was really too young. I hadn't properly explored any passions. Life sometimes brings moments of seemingly sudden enlightenment, when something tangible and observable, an experience we go through, or a totemic presence -a house in ruins, in slow 'recovery'-, for instance, becomes a living metaphor of your own life. Your essay made me think of this: yes, the literary device is there, and it's beautiful, Jeff, but the lived-in metaphor is also there. 'My life is taking a new shape'. 'Beautiful words are rearranging things inside me, working on the corners of my mind', the way you worked on the walls of that mansion. Lovely.
Thank you, Viktor. I think for a time we thought young people would magically and almost instantly convert into “adults”. Perhaps we needed to believe that. But, as you suggest, it’s a much longer process.
So we see how this
“The study of law sharpens the mind by narrowing it,” Edmund Burke once said.'
happily gave way to this
'I began to fancy it was a road leading to a future as open as the horizon.'
Aren't we all glad.
Thank you, Jay. It was a twisting road, like most in life. And in simple terms of miles or kilometres, a very long one!
Ah, Eliot and those lines from "East Coker" and all that you write here, revealing, vulnerable and oh so eloquent on the makings of a literary traveler ...
Thank you, Mary. I know you are a fan of the Four Quartets, which have been with me since I was a teenager. I sometimes think of you when I re-read them!
I so enjoyed this, Jeffrey. It reminded me of my own bizarre journey from American expat life in the Middle East, to completing my GCSEs and A-levels at a UK boarding school, and then attending college all the way out in California. We did, indeed, just "leave."😂
I have some experience reading college applications for a local university. One pattern that held strong was the striking maturity evident in applicants who had taken a gap year. It didn't matter what they had done with the time; they just seemed to have a better grasp, and perhaps investment, on why they wanted that college degree.
My oldest is 17 and in the throes of the college search, and generally considering "what comes next," including the possibility of a gap year. Every kid is different, but there's no denying these are very formative years, a time of great transition. As my brother so wisely likes to say: "The gap year comes, whether you take it or not."
Thanks for a great post.
Renovation is a wonderful way to fill in gap years, or even gap months. I restored badly treated and neglected antique furniture in the gaps between my school and employment. Now, every summer it seems I find myself working on a project, either building something new or restoring something old.
Your 'coming of age' reflections in this essay demonstrate the value of practical work and reading. How both shape a person, and show us where we need to go next. Thanks for sharing Jeffrey.
Jeffrey! Surely there’s a whole series (or a book or BBC spin-off) just waiting for more tales of the huanted Lilly Langtry mansion?! I’m dying to know more…
I think you'd be the perfect choice to tell those tales, Chloe! 🙂
I was recently in a conversation with a few people, including my oldest son who is in his 20s, and we were talking about how the physicality of our lives shapes us as we grow and mature. How wonderful it is to read this since it dovetails so nicely with how I see the young people in my life— who are on the cusp of change.
Thank you, Zina. Glad to hear that these thoughts and words chime with your own.
Funny how our lives can take sudden detours or head in previously unimagined and unimaginable directions. Myself, I was planning to go West and ended up flying East.
Thank you, Gianni. Yes, even the direction of travel of our lives is hard to predict.
So interesting— and the choice of illustrations felt like another unfolding. It’s wonderful getting to know you this way.
Thank you, Victoria! I’m also glad you liked the choice of images.
A wonderful essay, Jeffrey --I think your Law essay was one of the first I read. Stepping back with you elegantly musing on this earlier time was a treat. You have a knack for taking me back with you, rather than just telling the tale. I always enjoy the journey.
Thank you, Leslie. I’m so glad you enjoyed this.
I forgot to mention the “shipping forecast” map! To fall asleep, I let an App called ‘Calm’ tell me a story. One of my favorites is a reading of the shipping forecast by Peter Jefferson who read it on the BBC for 25 years. I have always been puzzled by the odd names, the map explains all!! If I weren’t trying to fall asleep, I could follow right around your dear island.
Thank you, Leslie. The shipping forecast used to be broadcast around midnight as well as in the afternoon, and while I was at university, I would sometimes fall asleep to its soothing sounds (soothing for those safely on shore). The names have a poetry to them that the Heaney poem brings out so well: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48395/glanmore-sonnets
A beautifully textured meditation on becoming your true self instead of the counterfeit one that had been waving its hand in the air. With the reverberating contrast drawn between the life of the hands and the life of the imagination, you created a frame for the essay. After reading your work for more than a year, I appreciated this vivid portrait of your young self.
Thank you, Rona. Like all the best readers/critics, your comments help me see my own writing in a fresh way. I’m very grateful to you for that.